play me that song.

I love 6 am.
she's just waiting for the summertime, when the weather's fine.

We'll call it bad weather

I'm frustrated.
Isn't college supposed to be the place where you meet all these amazing new people and develop healthy routines that you keep for your whole life? Maybe I expected too much? Maybe I imagined a more perfect circumstance? I enjoy all my classes. I love all the people I've met. I have even gotten to work out a few times at the gym. My dorm is awesome. I just really want to love the entire experience though. It's not even that I miss home so much. I love everyone there and I can't wait to see them, but that's not what is keeping me from fully loving my current location. I just feel like I haven't gotten to make an impact yet. I realize I am rambling. I have even gotten to join a few church organizations that I really enjoy. The yearning for more than okay is killing me though. Wilmington is not the problem, I just may not be making the best use of my circumstance. What an awesome place to have the priveledge to live! What is this desire I have yet to fill?




On an upside, this woman at Hardees yesterday completely made my day. I ordered a small sweet tea but she gave me a large because it was only a dollar. I love the south.

I could go for a Relient K song.

Everyday is a new adventure here. I definitely haven't established a routine by any means and don't ever know what the next day will hold. The spontaneous side of me loves the day-to-day living I am doing in college; however, i am ready for somewhat of a routine. I was thinking back to a few months ago and my prayers at that time of my life. I remember praying for a "sign" to know i was supposed to go to Wilmington, as well as prayers for my friendships to remain strong. As a college freshman, a week in, I am slowly starting to see God's plan revealed to me in the smallest ways. His guidance is over my life and I just need the constant reminder to wait on the Lord. I want things to happen now and relationships to automatically be established. I need prayer that I will not bypass the plan he has for me and that I will be open to whatever he lays in my path. My thoughts drift back to the words Carpe Diem. I must seize the day... seize the moments that God gives me.

I regret I haven't had as much time to get on here as I thought I would.

transition

Tomorrow is the big Move-In Day at UNC-Wilmington and tons of other universities all across the country. Millions of other first-time college students are going through that same anxious feeling I am experiencing tonight. Honestly, that is the only thing that makes me feel better about tomorrow. I have never been the person to be nervous in situations like this, or feel like I can't hold my own, but for the first time I feel inadequate. I don't know what is expected of me and I don't want to have the most stuff out of everyone moving in. At Wilmington they have these people called Designated Move-In Helpers to do just that.. help move you in. Is it such a dumb thing that I would rather do it myself? I am excited for all the new people I will meet, though. I just pray for confidence so that I will be able to go down to Wilmington and be the person I know I can be.

Matt 6:34

Realization

I guess you can't keep a toothbrush at your best friend's dorm room.

Dear Melanie,

If only I could get enough motivation to finish my summer reading.

The past few days have been really more than I could have asked for. I am so glad I have finally been able to spend time with my family as well as get some things done on that imaginary to-do list. With just a few days of true adolescence left I have found a yearning to be as lazy as possible (which was on this to-do list I speak of). I keep thinking, I'm never going to get to have nothing to do, so I might as well enjoy it.

Why am I excited about college?
-I can start over
-This is the next step into fulfilling my dreams
-I wouldn't really want to be in high school for another year

My nine-year old cousin Melanie wrote me a letter that said.."I know we'll see you at Christmas, but I guess you'll be all grown up by then." No worries Melanie. I won't ever be too old for a board game or hide and go seek. You better get some songs ready for all of us to sing together this Christmas.

I toss my hat .

I wonder when I graduated?
T-6 Days til college and I am now looking to document the past four and a half months of my life with no success. I know they have been really really good. I did not pass any of my AP exams. I know that I got, worked, quit a job. I heard that we have been to the beach 6 times since then. I worked a Vacation Bible School and served at Camp Caswell for a week on a volleyball missions team. I got bangs. I played a round of golf. God gave me a passion. I gave a guy who didn't ask for it my number. I received notification of a roommate, then notification of her not being my roommate. We officially road-tripped to Tennessee. I then received notification of a new roommate. I went to college orientation. I banana boated, and kayaked, even go-carted. My constant hang out group has been incredibly altered. A friend lost his mother. I had the time of my life, twice. I think I have only had one new phone since then. I danced in 3 concerts. I learned
how to take the extremely occasional nap. I went to 2 concerts, one of which was Lil Wayne.

I would say it was worth it. I can turn the page and be ok.

take a good look around.